Hold My Heart
by minixoxmya
Summary: You don't appreciate the fear of death until you are faced with losing the one you love the most. 4x24


**Hold My Heart**

Tick tock.

Tick tock.

Tick tock.

Aria was sick of the sound of the clock on the wall. The sterile while room was suffocating her, but she had nowhere else to go.

She had no idea how she imagined that night would end, but she knew this wasn't it. When they had been led to New York to see Ali, she hoped that finally it would all be over.

But it was only just beginning.

A was slowly destroying them and tonight he/she was almost destroyed the man she loved.

She hated that she loved him; she had tried to push him from her life, but the moment she thought he might be gone forever; all she wanted to do was take it all back.

The fights, the screams, the desperate pleas for him to leave her life for good...none of that mattered right now.

All that mattered was making sure that he was alive.

She was alone; as soon as the cops had arrived they had taken the other girls off to ask them questions and to wait for their parents to arrive. Aria had been bundled into the back of the ambulance with Ezra; she was so covered in blood that they couldn't be sure she wasn't injured herself.

She was grateful, there was no way she would be able to face their questions until she knew that Ezra was okay.

Even the halls of the large hospital were empty; it was easily three in the morning and anybody with any kind of normal life would not be roaming hospital corridors.

She rubbed the scratchy sleep from her eyes; forcing herself to stay awake even though all she wanted was to curl up in a corner and pray that this whole night had been some kind of horrible nightmare.

What was taking them so long? Ezra had been in surgery for hours and she didn't dare move away from the entrance to the theatres…if something was happening, she wanted to be the first to know about it. There weren't even any chairs, it wasn't somewhere that many people wanted to sit and wait, so Aria sat on the cold hard floor with her knees tucked tightly to her chest and her shoes left forgotten by her side.

What was she going to do if he was dead? The last words he had ever said to her was 'I'm sorry', what if he never got to hear that it's okay? He didn't need to be sorry; she knew he had messed up but they could work through it.

If they could get through this night, they could make it through anything.

Every moment they had ever shared together replayed over and over in her mind; every kiss, every snuggle in bed on a Sunday morning, every time he'd told her he loved her. Her lungs were burning at the thought of never having any of those moments again; she had taken them for granted before and she vowed that if he survived this, she was never going to take him for granted again.

Tears were still streaming down her face, her eye makeup long washed away by the salty water that flowed from her eyes. She was amazed she still had any tears left; they had started when Ali began telling her story and six hours later they still hadn't ceased.

She had spoken to her parents on the phone; she had insisted that they didn't come to New York with everybody else. She needed to be alone with Ezra for this; she didn't need the questioning looks of her parents making a terrible situation even worse.

They had objected but she had been strong.

Hardy had arrived at the hospital just a short time after Ezra had been rushed into surgery. He had wrapped his strong arms around Aria and comforted her as she cried; the opinions he had once had for the young girl were forgotten as the united in strength for each other.

The clock on the wall read five past four in the morning; they had to be finished soon, she needed to see him and she wasn't sure how much longer she could wait. She had debated the idea of just bursting in there but the rational side of her brain told her that that was a stupid thing to do.

Suddenly her trance was broken by the large white doors bursting open, the sound almost deafening in the cold silent hallways.

"Miss Montgomery?" A small nurse asked gently.

Aria looked up, her head jolting up sharply to look at the young nurse who had called her name.

Oh god, was this it? Was she just about to find out if her soulmate was dead? There was nobody else out there for her; she knew that for a fact, so without Ezra she would have nobody in her life to love her like he had.

As she got up and walked towards the nurse her mind drifted into delirious thoughts; there weren't many species that mated for life, she thought to herself, but this is what it must feel like for them to lose their soulmate. She suddenly had a wave of intense empathy for monogamous animals out there that had lost their loves, a new wave of tears coming over her as she started to mourn for her own impending loss.

She shook her head; silently laughing to herself as she analyzed her thoughts, was she really thinking about animals right now? She was sure that this nurse was about to tell her Ezra was dead, the last thing she needed to be thinking about was animals.

She wondered barefoot slowly behind the tired looking nurse; her shoes left forgotten outside and the black tights she had worn that night were picking up dust from the upswept floor.

"Take a seat, Dr Giovano will be with you shortly."

This was not good; if Ezra was alive why couldn't the nurse just tell her? If the doctor was coming that meant things had gone terribly wrong; there had been some awful complication and Ezra had died on the table, she was sure of it.

Suddenly she couldn't breathe; the walls were closing in on her, her temperature skyrocketed and her eyes darted around the tiny waiting room. The panic was setting in and she saw no way out of the deep dark hole she had fallen into.

"Miss Montgomery, take slow deep breaths."

Slow deep breaths? Was he serious? He wanted her to calm down? All she wanted was for him to tell her the truth; she didn't want to be strung along any more, she didn't want to be tortured by her own thoughts anymore.

"Is he alive? Tell me please!" Aria begged, sobs rolling through her exhausted body as she waited to hear the words she knew were coming.

Dr Giovano placed a gentle hand on Aria's back; his hands were large almost grandfather like, gently he rubbed the fabric of her jacket in a desperate attempt to sooth the anxiety of the young girl before him.

"Miss Montgomery, he's alive. He had had to have a lot of surgery and it will take him a long time to recover but we expect him to make a full recovery."

Aria almost didn't believe what she was hearing.

Alive. Full Recovery.

Ezra was alive and he was going to be okay?

"Are you telling the truth?" Aria asked terrified that her ears had been lying to her brain.

The elderly doctor chuckled; he had been a surgeon for forty years and never once had he met a girl quite as anxious as Aria.

"Would you like to come and see for yourself?" He whispered, placing an arm around Aria's shaking body and guiding her towards the recovery area.

This was an area usually strictly off limits to visitors; but tonight they had made an exception for love, they could see the desperate need in Aria's eyes to know that Ezra were okay…nobody could argue with that.

Aria dragged her feet as she followed the doctor into the large bright room; as she entered she looked around at other people who had just got out of emergency surgery, guess it wasn't just her night that hadn't gone to plan. Her eyes finally fell on Ezra; his pale, limp body was led securely in bed at the far end of the room.

She was still twenty feet away but she could see a frown of pain written across his features, only Ezra could look handsome even when half dead in a hospital bed.

She approached him slowly; almost afraid of what would happen when she finally reached his bedside. Her first impressions were good; she was almost sure that he would be heavily sedated with hundreds of tubes hanging out of him, but from where she was standing that definitely wasn't the case.

His eyes were closed, but not tight closed, and his body rested against the mattress. He looked almost peaceful, as if the last six hours had never happened.

She was afraid for him; was he in pain? Would he be in pain when he woke up? Would his life ever be the same again? The doctor hadn't discussed his injuries with her but basic science told her that being shot in the abdomen was not a good thing.

As she reached his bedside, she took hold of his cold hand. The feeling of his soft skin was familiar to her; it was almost as if she took comfort in feeling his skin against hers.

"Aria?" His weak voice sounded out above the noise of monitors and machines that filled the room.

Aria was sure she was hearing things; there was no way he could be awake and talking so soon, was there? She dared herself to lift her eyes to his face, their eyes meeting in an intense stare that filled Aria with emotions she had no idea how to categorize.

He was alive, he was awake and he was talking. That was just about all she could ask for in that moment, it was all she had been wishing for for the last six hours.

"Shh, don't talk. Save your energy for getting better." She whispered, repeating the words she had said to him on the rooftop mere hours previously.

So much had changed in those hours; she had lost him and she had found him again, her world as she had come to know it had changed forever.

"I'm so sorry," Ezra whispered again; his words were difficult to get out, the dryness of his mouth was causing his broken lips to stick together as he spoke.

Aria shook her head again, feeling new tears running down her cheeks as she watched him look up at her. Her tears were a mix of emotions, an overwhelming sense of fear and happiness that she had no idea how she was supposed to respond to.

He had messed up big time; their relationship had been in a really bad place, but the events of the evening had put it all in perspective for Aria. They weren't going to go back to normal immediately; it was going to take a lot of work, but she wasn't about to let him go again.

"I love you." Aria whispered simply, leaning down and pressing a feather soft kiss to his dry inflamed lips.

No more words needed to be said; she needed him to hear those words, she needed him to know that she was always going to be there, that he could close his eyes and not worry that she'd be gone when he woke up.

As Ezra closed his eyes again Aria sat down on the chair next to his bed, her hand gripped firmly around his as he slept as peacefully as he could. She didn't dare let go of his hand; he had been take away from her once tonight, she wasn't about to let anyone come between them again.

~X~

Night quickly turned into morning and as the sun rose over New York City, Aria stared out of the huge window in the hallway outside Ezra's hospital room.

He had been transferred overnight to the room that would be his until he was well enough to go home. It was a huge room with a big window that looked out over the city with stunning views of the Hudson River, a huge flat screen TV hung on the wall and a plush couch sat against the plain white wall.

The doctor had reassured Aria during the night that Ezra was doing well; the constant fear that he was going to die had slowly begun to settle as day had broken and the loneliness of the dark night had lifted.

She hated being apart from him; to have no idea what was happening in his room was causing her intense stress. Two pretty nurses had approached his room just minutes earlier and offered to help him get cleaned up and into some fresh clothes; he had insisted that Aria could stay but she wanted to give him his privacy. His body had changed in the last twelve hours; he now had scars in places he'd never had them before and she didn't want him to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

The idea was alien to her; she'd never been embarrassed around him nor had he been around her. He was the first man that had ever seen her naked and even now she didn't consider it to be a big deal around him.

She hoped that they could reach that level of intimacy again; she was sure they would, it would take time but they were strong, sure was sure now that they could get through anything.

"He's asking for you," One of the nurses smiled sweetly as they walked past Aria's tired body.

Relieved, she walked back into the large room; smiling as she saw him comfortably propped up in bed, his boyish grin trying really hard to make an appearance through the pain.

"There you are." He whispered, his body still not strong enough to make audible sounds.

Aria nodded and perched on the side of his bed; taking his hand in hers and bringing it up to her lips to kiss it gently, an action that was usually reserved for him.

"I hadn't gone far, I was just outside." She reassured him, brushing a stray strand of hair from his eyes.

He needed a haircut, Aria noted. Since she had found out about the book and they had had their vicious argument, Ezra hadn't been taking good care of himself. Aria spotted the stubble on his chin, his hair was longer and she knew he had been drinking more scotch that he normally would.

That would have to change; the bullet had damaged his liver and the doctor had advised that he stay away from alcohol until it had completely healed.

"Are your parents here?" Ezra asked, wondering why there had been no sign of Ella and Byron Montgomery.

Aria shook her head, telling him that she had insisted that they stay in Rosewood until she was ready to go back home. She hadn't explained to them the full extent of the evening's events, but she was sure that they would have heard it from someone by now.

She needed to be here alone with him; they needed this time together to rebuild what they once had and to reassure each other that everything was going to be okay.

Slowly and carefully Aria lay beside Ezra; slightly higher up in the bed than he was so that he could lay his head on her chest. This was where she needed to be; with his safely in his arms knowing that he would be safe there.

It was going to be a long road but she knew that they were going to make it; everything was going to be okay because he was alive and that's all that mattered.

~X~

Aria opened her eyes slowly, overwhelmed by the light that was heating up her face. It took her a minute to adjust to her surroundings, but as soon as she realized where she was she smiled.

The previous night she had arrived back in Rosewood, thankfully with Ezra in tow. He had been released from the hospital with strict instructions that he rests, does no heavy lifting and eats a protein rich diet.

With those instructions firmly in her mind, Aria had fully committed herself to taking care of him. She had virtually offered to move in with him until he was well enough to be independent around his tiny apartment.

They had bussed back from New York; Aria had been unsure about how safe that was considering Ezra's delicate condition, but he had insisted that he was fine and boldly pointed out that there really wasn't another way for them to get back to Rosewood.

She had called her parents when they arrived back at the apartment; explaining that, no matter what their opinion was, she was going to be staying with Ezra until he was better. The girls had agreed to pick up Aria's school work and her mom had managed to spin a story to school about her being unwell.

She knew that most smart people would make the link, but did she care? She didn't think that she did. Everybody knew they had had a relationship, no body needed to know the finer details of the last few months and she was pretty sure after what had happened, there wouldn't be too many questions asked.

She rolled over in bed slowly and looked at Ezra; he was so perfect, she was so angry with the circumstances of the past months but she made a conscious decision that she couldn't allow them to affect her future.

The fact of the matter was this man wrestled an armed masked assailant to protect her and her friends. In a moment that he thought would be his last on earth he had reached for her face and whispered he was sorry; she knew he was telling the truth, at that point he had no reason to lie.

He loved her; he had loved her all along.

"Are you awake?" She whispered, needing to look him in the eyes and to hear his voice.

Ezra opened his eyes slowly and smiled at her; it was a smile she feared she would never see again, a smile of love and of happiness, the smile that he always gave her when he realized that they had a whole day to spend alone together.

"I am now." He whispered, pressing his lips to hers in a gentle loving good morning kiss.

As they snuggled together under the warm covers of his bed nothing else in the world seemed to matter.

Aria would never forget that moment; the moment in which she was sure she had lost him forever. It would stay with her for the rest of her life; every decision she ever made would be influenced by the pain and emotions she had felt that night.

Gently she laid her head against his chest; listening to the sound of his heart beating strong on his chest.

He was alive.

They were together.

The moment that had almost separated them for an eternity had brought them infinitely closer together.

Their relationship was stronger than it had ever been before.

The world was right again.

**Fin. **


End file.
